"Today's lesson comes from..."

I started leading a Sunday School class a number of years ago when the need for an adult teacher arose. I remember thinking at the time what a valuable opportunity it would be in that it would demand some focused time in God's Word. Back then, I wasn't disciplined enough to set aside time for study, but I longed for the benefits of a life guided by scripture. I longed to have Old Testament stories recalled and New Testament principles explained. Parables, prophecies, history, and drama all woven together with the common thread of God's great love for His creation. I felt that if I applied myself toward leading others it would result in my own edification. I was not disappointed!

These few years have gone by and the personal rewards of study have begun to bear fruit in that I have been awakened to my many faults and failures. As I have tried to live for God I have found that I am more keenly aware of His presence and even more so of His abounding mercy and grace.

And yet, I am embarrassed because of my lack of seriousness.

Several months back someone close to me had the good Christian courage to constructively criticize the way I manage the class. To downsize their point some, what they were saying is that I waste a lot of time "shootin' the breeze" and not enough time on the lesson. It seems that some members were actually taking the time to study their lesson and it was frustrating so much information wasn't being taught. At first the comments hurt - a little like hitting your thumb with a hammer. There was nothing I could do but let it throb. And I walked away hurt and a little angry.

That message stuck and I began to join it with other passing remarks and light-hearted criticisms until I convinced myself they were all personal attacks. I really started to fret over these things until one day the Spirit of the Lord revealed to me my sin.

I had made His class a measuring stick for my own popularity. I had devoted too much time to drawing attention to me and away from Him. I had been teaching in my own power and trying to rob God of His due glory. Each Sunday I failed to humble myself before Him in prayer and ask for His guidance and promise Him the honor. This was amazing insight for me and could only be of God because, honestly, I'm not that smart.

This selfish attitude was at the heart of a confrontation a couple of years prior with a dear lady in my church. At the time, she was our SS Director and had really poured herself into making positive reforms and building on strengths. There was a need to move classes around and when she approached me about changes in my class, I went off! That was "my class and no one was going to move us around," and "Why couldn't you just leave us alone," and on and on... to the point of her coming to tears. If I had to enumerate the most shameful moments of my life that day would be in my top 5, for sure. I asked for forgiveness from that lady and I believe she gave it. I've asked for forgiveness from God and I know He gave it. Yet, because we are forgiven there are still consequences. Mine is always knowing how I hurt my sister in Christ every time I see her.

All of this insight and revelation came to me, of course, two hours before Sunday School. I was absolutely broken at that point and prayed for forgiveness. That morning was completely for Him. I don't preach; that's not my calling. But that day, I allowed myself for the first time to be a conduit between the Living God and His people! Now, with great humility, I would like to report that my Lord allowed me to receive the reward of recognition that day! "Good lesson, Tom!"